Proverbs 31 Woman: Not a Checklist, but a Calling

If the words Proverbs 31 woman make you instantly feel behind, overwhelmed, or like you’re already failing before you even start — you’re not alone. I think a lot of us have quietly carried that weight for years, even if we don’t say it out loud.
For the longest time, Proverbs 31 has been treated like a checklist. Something to measure ourselves against. Something to strive for. And honestly? That pressure was never the point.
In Season 3, Episode 3 of Unscripted Conversations, we slow way down and talk about the Proverbs 31 woman not as a checklist to chase, but as a calling that’s lived out over time, in real life, right where we are.

When the Proverbs 31 Woman Feels Heavy

Somewhere along the way, the Proverbs 31 woman became more about expectations than encouragement.
Instead of reading it and feeling grounded, a lot of women read it and immediately start comparing:
Am I doing enough? Am I faithful enough? Why does this feel like pressure instead of peace?
And when that happens, wisdom starts to feel like hustle, and faith starts to feel like performance.

Mary, Martha, and Real Life Faith

As I was preparing this episode, the story of Mary and Martha kept coming to mind.

Martha was doing what needed to be done. She was responsible, busy, and carrying the weight of the moment. Mary sat at Jesus’ feet. Jesus didn’t shame Martha for serving. He simply pointed out that Mary chose what mattered most in that moment.

That story hits different when life is full.

We live in a world that praises busy and rewards productivity. Slowing down can feel irresponsible, even spiritually. And that same mindset often sneaks into how we read about the Proverbs 31 woman.

The Proverbs 31 Woman: Worth Before Work

One of the most important things we talk about in this episode is order.
Before Proverbs 31 ever talks about what this woman does, it establishes her worth. Not earned worth. Not performance-based worth. Just value.

That matters, because so much of our world ties worth to output. Proverbs 31 starts with identity, not tasks. Who she is comes before what she does.

What Wisdom Looks Like for the Proverbs 31 Woman

The Proverbs 31 woman isn’t praised for burning herself out or doing everything at once.
When you slow down and really read the chapter, you see steadiness, intention, and faithfulness. Wisdom doesn’t mean doing all the things. It means being faithful with what’s actually in your hands in this season.
And seasons matter. There are times when you can carry more, and times when just showing up is the win. Proverbs 31 assumes a long view of life, not a single snapshot.

Before you listen to this episode, I really encourage you to take a few minutes and read Proverbs 31 for yourself. Slow down with it. Read it without comparing or rushing.
You can read Proverbs 31 in the NLT here:
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31&version=NLT

listen to the full podcast episode here:

If this episode connects with you, you may also want to read Walking Out Your Faith – How I’m Living It Out (Resolutions Part 2) and Proverbs 3 Resolutions: Who I’m Becoming (Part 1), where we talk more about what it looks like to live this out day by day.

pin it:

If you want to save this episode to come back to later, this is a good one to pin as a reminder when life feels full and faith starts to feel heavy.

About the Host