Getting Even Never Feels Good — Here’s What Does

Getting even never feels good. Somebody wrongs you, and for a hot minute it feels amazing to imagine paying them back — and then you actually do something small and petty, and it just feels gross. Every single time.

Most of us have used “an eye for an eye” as our excuse for that. Somebody hurts a friend of mine and I’m the first one saying “well, eye for an eye, go get her.” I said that for years without knowing what I was actually quoting.

Where “an eye for an eye” actually came from

That verse is old. Way older than Jesus. It goes back to the law of Moses, and it wasn’t written so people could get revenge — it was written to stop revenge from spinning out of control. Before that law, somebody could knock your tooth out and you’d burn their whole house down over it. No limit, no fairness, just escalation.

“An eye for an eye” put a limit on that. The punishment had to match the crime, nothing bigger. And it was written for judges — courts deciding real cases. Not for you and me to pull out on each other whenever we’re mad.

Read through Matthew 5:38-42 and what Jesus says. Pick your favorite version. NLT and Message are my two favorites.

Getting even never feels good here’s what to do instead

Jesus doesn’t soften the rule. He goes the other way completely. Don’t retaliate, He says. Give more than what was asked. Walk the extra mile. And my gut reaction to that is no thank you, because hitting back feels like standing up for yourself, and not hitting back feels like getting walked on.

But look at who’s actually in control in those examples He gives. It’s not the person throwing the punch — it’s the one who refuses to swing back. Revenge hands your next move over to somebody else’s bad behavior. Not to get someone back is the one thing that keeps that decision yours.

And He doesn’t even stop there. He says do good to the person who wronged you. On purpose. That’s a harder ask than staying quiet ever was.

Listen to the Full Episode

There’s a lot more to unpack on the podcast this week — the full story on “an eye for an eye,” what “turn the other cheek” meant in that culture, and why doing good to someone who hurt you says more about you than them. Give it a listen below.

Pin Getting Even Never Feels Good for Later

Save this one for the next time revenge feels tempting. Pin the image below so you can find it again.

If You Like This, Check These Out:

If this one really hit home for you, go back and listen to last week’s episode, Keeping Your Word When It’s Hard (Matthew 5:33-37) — it sets up a lot of what we talked about today.

And if you need a five-ingredient supper for the week you’re working through all this, my Crockpot Chicken and Potatoes is a true dump-and-go favorite around here — one less thing to think about while your heart’s doing the heavy lifting.

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